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Discovering Serenity : Set Boundaries Find peace

Set boundaries find peace is a process of determining any non-existent or unhealthy boundaries. Simply, we can say that prioritizing your comfort level over anything else is what Setting boundaries means. Setting boundaries plays a very vital role in development of personal well being by protecting physical, emotional and mental well being to avoid stress and keeping away negative energies for a positive approach towards life.
Now, prioritizing your needs without feeling guilty is basically a concept that sounds simple in theory but is hard to implement practically. Prioritizing yourself is a practice of self care that eventually leads to personal development of an individual.

BENEFITS OF SETTING BOUNDARIES –

There are various benefits of setting boundaries which eventually strengthens mental health of an individual –

1) Improved mental and emotional health – Setting boundaries are basically a substitute to mental health treatment. Talking about something that interferes with your mental and emotional health is the first and foremost step that should be taken while prioritizing your mental health.

2) Enhanced self esteem and self respect – Healthy boundaries helps in building greater self esteem. Basically, you get clarity on who you are, what you want & what are your goals that boost up self confidence to a great level.

3) Strengthened relationships with others – Building healthy relationship with other peoples majorly involves the role of setting healthy boundaries. Communicating about something which you are not comfortable about in respect to others, eventually strengthens the bond that you share with any other person whether at work, school, college or with your partner.

IDENTIFYING YOUR BOUNDARIES –

Self – realisation or self – identification of your limits or the boundaries that you want in your life is very important aspect because until and unless if you are not aware of your boundaries and limits it eventually leads to self – destruction in your ways (say it mental, emotional, physical, etc.).

• Self – reflection : understanding your needs and limits – Understanding your needs basically brings clarity in life like why things happen in a particular way, or why we need to let things happen just the way they want to. All these things plays a very vital role in personal growth of an individual.

• Recognizing situations where boundaries are needed – Situations add a very important value while setting healthy boundaries. Some situations make us realise that now is the time to set limits and recognizing such situations is very important to protect yourself from self – harm and from any further emotional damage.

• Understanding your limits basically means understanding yourself , your strengths and weaknesses, your passion and desires, your dreams and fears, etc. which usually develops or builds up self-confidence and self-esteem.

5 STEPS FOR SETTING GOOD BOUNDARIES & MAINTAINING THEM –

1. Physical boundaries – Physical Boundaries basically includes your need for personal space, your comfort with touch and various other physical needs. Someone’s comfort with touch is nowadays a very important aspect that peoples usually pay attention to. Saying ‘’No’’ to uncomfortable touches, or talking about it to someone trustworthy is the step that should be taken for proper mental well being.
It’s okay to let people know that you are not comfortable with their touch or by their behaviour even if you feel guilty about it. You need to take that step for your well being.

2. Emotional Boundaries – Emotional boundaries is all about respecting and understanding your feelings and energy. Setting emotional boundaries means recognizing how much emotional energy do you have to invest in, or how much energy can you take in. Communicating about feelings and recognizing who actually needs to listen to your part of the story is very important aspect. Since, investing your emotions into someone who responds poorly usually makes you self – insecure and doubts your self – worth.

3. Time Boundaries – Time being the most valuable thing in the worlds needs to be utilised very carefully. Setting Time Boundaries is incredibly important whether at work, college or any other areas of life. Good time boundaries usually means prioritizing your things, people, work, etc. Overcommitting to any single aspect or areas usually leads to imbalance in your daily life. When you understand your priorities it becomes easier to segregate your time accordingly.

4. Sexual Boundaries – Healthy sexual boundaries includes consent, agreement, respect, understanding of preferences and desires, and privacy. Setting sexual boundaries usually leads to a better understanding with your partner & for a healthy relationship. Again saying “NO” to the things which you are uncomfortable about should be necessary for your well being.

5. Intellectual Boundaries – Intellectual boundaries refers to your thoughts, ideas and communication. It basically includes respecting others ideas and thoughts, agreeing or disagreeing to them, explaining your point of view and also at the same time understanding someone else’s, sticking to something which you are confident about (but also it should be correct). All these things brings out the understanding and intellectual person in you.

OVERCOMING GUILT AND FEAR –

• Common reasons for feeling guilty when setting boundaries – There are various reasons why you feel guilty when setting boundaries such as – setting boundaries is selfish and mean, what will they think when I set boundaries, will they still like me after I set boundaries, etc. All these reasons basically gives importance to the idea that what others will think, which at first place is not a good practice for your mental health. You might think that prioritizing yourself over other is just wrong or considered rude but it’s actually the opposite. When we set loving boundaries, it actually helps to feel more compassion about the people in our lives.

• Strategies for coping with guilt and fear –

I. Reminding yourself of the importance of self care – Self – care should be considered topmost priority. It basically helps to cope with guilt and fear that you get while setting boundaries. Self – care is basically form of self – love which you should not feel guilty about.

II. Practicing Self – compassion and Self – Validation – Self validation is considered very important form of self – love and care. Validating or appreciating yourself for something that you have done is very important because if you don’t appreciate yourself then who else would. Practicing self – compassion is one of the biggest step that should be taken for personal growth and development.
Various other steps for overcoming guilt and fear includes – Acknowledging how you feel in the moment when setting boundaries, Focusing on Empathy not sympathy, Holding your Ground with “Yes and No”.

So, don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Setting boundaries can be challenging but with practice, you can learn to say “NO” without feeling guilty. By prioritizing your well – being you will live a more fulfilling life. Always remember Setting boundaries protects your mental, emotional and physical well – being which should always be considered as your topmost priority.